bad lisa is bad. just 2 days and i have in to temptation.
i’ll be trying IF, HIIT and whenever I crave for things I’ll study instead.
On 1 December 2013, I stand at 61kg. Yes, 61kg. A weight gain of 1kg. Granted that figure, I was constantly indulging myself in the month of november. But now I’ll be on track! No more sweet things, no more carbs, more exercise and healthier! I know I can do this! (: 53kg here I come!!
Looking at your own body, how do you even have the courage and cheek to claim that, hey, i got a flat tummy now. It’s impossible impossible impossible!!!! It’s impossible at the current weight.
Every time I eat carbs or when I overeat, I have this thought to purge. Even one yummy bowl of ramen could fill me up with infinite guilt. The thing is, I can finish the ramen, but I don’t want to finish. I don’t want to fill up my stomach 100%. Now, I normally stop at the 60-70% range. I’m happy filling up to the 60-70% range. I had bread a couple days ago and I feel bad for eating. Carbs…. so much carbs. How to lose weight this way?
It’s difficult not to overeat. I cannot seem to control myself. I drown myself in self hate afterwards. Whenever I look at myself, I know I’m not fat, but I am fat. It’s this thing in my mind that is tearing me apart. All I see are flaws on my body. I know I have come a long way and lost quite a bit, but on that mirror it’s still a overweight ugly person. Beside my friends I’m still the larger one.
I’m afraid of myself. The thought of purging is definitely not a good thing. Frankly, if I knew how to purge, I would’ve done it. But I’m too chicken to do so. Why can’t this thought of “better to waste it than waist it” be ingrained into my very soul? I need to eat less I need to lose weight I need to be beautiful.
Eat healthy, Eat Real Food, Don’t Overeat.
I need a smaller plate. A blue, smaller plate to control my appetite.